Monday, September 21, 2015
Torture: "Piggy-Mushhead, GargaSmell"
When I was a child, my father and my sister used to chant foul names at me. Large animals usually. Bison, Bruin, Leviathan, Sloth, Hefalump.....and "Piggy-Mushhead"
I must have had the nerd pheromone because I got picked on at school. The cutest boy in school called me "Beatrice" after seeing a chubby girl with glasses on a "My 3 Sons" episode the afternoon before. I had watched it too and blushed deeply when he looked out the bus window and said "hey, it's Beatrice." It stuck and followed me all through highschool.
My family knows my history. And they full out abuse me. I have "dreams" that are not dreams. Because my shoes are dirty in the morning....and there are stray hairs in my bed, and semen stains on my clothing. And I am feeling beaten and raped and having a fibro flare from hell from the stress.
In the "dreams", my uncles and male cousins dress me as a pig. It's a fetish of my one cousin....and they even made a boar's mouthpiece for me that fits in like my top denture (my sister and I both got dentures early in life because our dad used to molest us when he brushed our teeth when we were little...and PTSD made us feel like unbrushed teeth felt "safer"). The boar mouthpiece stretches my mouth out and I am getting "scars" from it.
Once they have me decked out like a pig, they say I am "Piggy-mushhead" or "Gargasmell" and I am no longer a person. They beat me and rape me and humiliate me. They have defiled me in EVERY way possible.
They are trying to get me to Give Up on Life. To just Sit. Not have Goals. Not Pursue Comedy. Forget about my Song, "Longer Lashes" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNkgvLGHFUY
They are trying to Erase my personality. Just sit at the Youth Hostel like a nice Pig-Monster and Be Quiet!
Because they picked someone else to play me in Real Life...but I am Linda Ophoenix!
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